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Monday, December 21, 2009

tis the season...to be busy.

the last week has seriously trumped most weeks I've had in college. At least in college you can sit in your house in sweats studying or nap in a chair in the library when you need a break or have the most abnormal schedule and it doesn't matter.

i don't know how i managed to get through it, but I'm not surprised that I've developed 13 knots in my right shoulder, a sore throat, a disheveled room and extremely tired eyes. but it's fine...it's all done. and somehow, I was able to do it. which despite all the stress, is a good feeling. I haven't blogged even remotely all of the details of my life over the past few months. Maybe I will get to in all my "free" time over the christmas break. for now, I hope you are all happy and well and have lots of love around you this christmas. somehow in the hot mess of my life i managed to write my very first christmas song. way to go me. hopefully i'll get to record it and post it this week.

to my friends and family...love you all! wish you peace, happiness and joy this christmas!!

Merry Christmas, Dear by Catherine Papworth

Merry Christmas, dear
Bells are ringing, for all to hear
Merry Christmas, love
Colored lights fill the skies above

Love abounds, with every sound
So Merry Christmas, dear

Merry Christmas, friend
let's make believe this won't come to an end
like lovers under mistletoe
and angel wings found in heaps of snow

Joyous sounds, upon snowy ground
say Merry Christmas, dear

Merry Christmas, dear
Bells are ringing, but you're not here
Are you walking down my street
or worlds away you're fast asleep

I'll sing a song,
and hope you come along,
soon.

Fa la la la la la la la
Fa la la la la la la la
la
Fa la la la la la la la
Fa la la la la la la la
la

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

holiday melody

I've written 3 songs in the past 2 weeks. That's a lot for me. I'm working on my very first "holiday/christmas" song. I want to put it on this record I'm working on....addendum to that last sentence: the album i've been asked so nicely by my brother--for which i've created 1,000 ideas swirling in my head--to complete...but haven't actually put audio to tape yet. let's face it..i wont be putting audio to tape at all...only to digitally sampled capture of real audio. you know what i mean. It will hopefully be an addition to the 6 songs I did christmas 2007 all in basically one night in my room in the basement in BYU student housing. I woke up one roommate on the 3rd floor...I hope she's forgiven me...I think she liked the CD though.

i'm loving my christmas tunes playlist right now. i heard this song on a recent episode of "Bones". nothing significant about the fact that it's by my mistress of music right now, Ingrid Michaelson. her melodies/lyrics/charisma fascinate me...which is kind of weird...because i'm notorious for being into stuff that stimulates and challenges my musical brain....and yet her music is so simple. so simple it blows my mind cause it's just so good. but you can listen and decide for yourself.



in other news....4 days of school left. glory in the highest.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Friday, November 27, 2009

Sphere

on my way to bed...
been fighting off a cold for two weeks now...
got back a few hours ago from northern AZ where we had thanksgiving at my grandparent's...
and started working immediately on this song...

it's still in the works.

Sphere
by Catherine Papworth

Right now I'm picking up the pieces
Somehow I know that it always takes too long
Right now I'm packing my suitcase
full of broken parts and promises

so here I go and I don't know
how we get here
cause all I see is you and me
in the same sphere
so I gotta get gone
I gotta move on
I gotta move on

Right now I'm filling up the silence with my tired mouth
Gotta learn to stand for something more than myself
Cause if I don't leave, then my life's gonna be
stuck on the shelf

so here I go and I don't know
how we get here
but all I need is some room to breathe
til I get there
so I gotta get gone
I gotta move on
I gotta move on
I gotta move on

I wanna be
heading for the sea
I wanna stand with my love in my hand and my feet planted in the sand

Feel my fingers in the air
Love my life and lose all care
on a mission to repair
to find a space in my own sphere
singing

na na na na na na
na na na na na na
na na na na na na

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

the ancient art of karaoke...


purchasing the karaoke version of a song for my middle school class and wondering how in the world duffy got on there. she must be lost. or she shares a fan base with the ancient japanese art of karao-kay.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

water rising

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

I realize this holiday isn't quite as exciting when you're a 24 year old in a desert that's perpetually summer and you don't fancy big drinking parties and an excuse to dress up like a slut...bunny slut...kitty slut...superwoman slut...take your pick. if I were dressing up it would probably be something extremely un-sexy. like a tator-tot or a light bulb...i dont know those were the first two un-sexy things that came to mind.

so much has happened in the last two weeks. It feels like it's been two months! nothing extremely exciting, but a lot of anecdotes to write about. Unfortunately, I don't have the time right now to embellish. but i will...soon.

for now i am working on a new song: water rising. it came out of a really depressed moment recently---ha..shocker. it just felt like being stuck with your feet planted on the floor while water is flooding in...trying to stay afloat. trying just to breathe. don't mean to wax poetic here...but that's how it felt. and i opened up Reason and began recording...what, I didn't know. but it was cathartic and here's what I have so far.

the water's rising faster than
i can shovel it with my hands
and i a running against the wind
cold is reaching beneath my skin

the water's rising faster than
i can shovel it with my hands
and i am falling into the cracks
where i'm going i can't come back

so lift me up
above the wind
where the water can't rise again
hold me close
inside your warmth
cause i am small
within your arms
lift me up


once again, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I hope your nightmarish dreams come true!? I watched the BEST Disney Halloween movie recently--Hocus Pocus...soo good. Bette Midler...amazing. In un-true Halloween fashion, I am going out to sushi tonight--which might be scary for some...but oh so good for me. Hope you have a candy-filled, pumpkin-lit, ghoulishly great night. (check out that illiteration).

peace-

cat

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

nostalgic findings

i was going through old songs today and found this. i arranged this song in high school for my all-female quartet "Dockside Dollies" (your guess is as good as mine...)
anyway, i know it's not christmas yet...but I was just reminiscing. this reminded me of being 17 and fearless...mostly just musically fearless..but probably in other ways, too. ah the days of ignorant bliss--when you don't know what you don't know...and so you just go...and do. i want to go back to this place again...but maybe to a little more mature, organized, centered fearlessness. abandonment but with a point. though this isn't perfectly in sync or in tune (i.e. the last chord is supposed to be major--haha), its depth and audacity allow for some beautiful moments. not trying to toot my own horn here--just remembering what it's like.



post script: i am sitting here trying to figure out why the word christmas is underlined in red. i'm staring at it like....c-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s...that's spelled right...right? has spell check become so politically correct that i can't even use the word christmas anymore? and then i realized it's supposed to be capitalized. der.

Monday, October 5, 2009

counter-intuitions

Have you ever had one of those days? Well, I shouldn't even ask that question, cause I already know the answer is yes...yes...unfortunately yes. unless you're an android from mars (i dont know..maybe you are) or some kind of super human...this post may surely sound familiar.

this is me today...I would put * around everything, but that would get cluttered. so use your imagination.

7:00 AM buzzing alarm, my brain: what is that %&*($@! sound? Must HIT BUTTON.
7:09 AM buzzing again. HIT THE ^&%*$# button!
7:18 AM slightly louder buzzing. my brain: all I know is I have two choices right now...sleep in quiet, or sleep with that loud *BEEAAARRAARPPP BEEEEEAAARPPP* in my ear (yes, there's an R in there somewhere). hits button.
7:27 AM violently loud buzzing. my brain....OH...it must be 7. That's what time I decided at 3:20AM that I was going to get up to go walking. hits OFF button.
11:20AM wakes up. groggy. disoriented. looks at red numbers. ah dang...missed early morning walk. head back down on pillow.
11:48 AM head up again. okay okay. i guess i should get up. opens blinds. blinking. eyes closed. blinking. eyes closed. okay, eyes open.
shower.
blow-dry.
clothes.
makeup.
gather everything i need in purse and documents to go get fingerprinted for new job.
walk downstairs with no shoes.
eat.
back upstairs..for shoes and chat with dad.
back downstairs to look up info on cashier's checks on computer.
back upstairs. chat with dad.
back downstairs. ah...where's my ipod.
back upstairs. ipod in hand.
back downstairs.
out the door. ah...I forgot my sunglasses. oh well.

2:00 PM at the bank. i need a cashier's check for $69 (so some government employee can log me in some system and check my squeaky clean background and dirty my fingers with ink and take my money which i dont have cause we're in a recession and we're all poor...in order to get a job so that i'm not poor anymore. stinking government)
2:05 PM can i see a picture ID?
sure. opens wallet...ID gone...wait a minute....i dont have my ID. it's in my other bag *nervous chuckle*...i have my debit card, waves card, more nervous chuckling...as if that would work...i went to a show friday night...they asked for my ID..I must've just taken it out of my wallet and it's in my other purse.
oh..what show did you see?
ingrid michaelson
where?
martini ranch.
okay well...
what's your name...social...birthday....address....phone number...birthplace...first crush...shoe size.
okay...i believe you.
who would you like that made out to?
DPS...it's a good thing I figured this out now cause I'm going to go get fingerprinted and i'd need my ID for sure.
where are you getting it done that it costs $69? My buddy just got his done in Chandler for much less.
oh really? ha...(stinking government).
okay well here you go.
out of bank. back in car. rushing home to get ID.

back home. take ipod off car jack--wouldn't want it to get stolen in my driveway. leave purse in car with door open.
run upstairs. search through purse which i had already emptied to switch purses. no ID.
runs back downstairs to car. search through current purse. nothing.
runs back upstairs. search desk. search purse again. search dresser. search bathroom. search pants.
runs downstairs. searches counter. table. computer desk.
runs to car. searches car.
runs to computer. looks up martini ranch. hi i was there on friday night and i think i might've lost my ID...have you seen it?
nothing.
goes to phone to text friend...racking my brain.
OH YA! it's in my scanner....? i had to scan my ID to verify my identity to put my music on my facebook page.
runs upstairs. grabs ID.
runs downstairs. OH, my sunglasses!
runs upstairs. grabs sunglasses.
runs to car. gets in. keys in ignition. going through purse...where's my ipod?
runs to kitchen. no ipod.
runs upstairs. no ipod.
runs back to car. ipod WAS in purse. duh.
takes off for fingerprinting office.

to preface this part...the only information i was given about the place i was supposed to get myself fingerprinted was that it was called "something like preferred services" and it was on the "south" side across from the Mesa Arts Center. It is a "narrow" building. And it is only open til 3. no information on preferred services could be found on the internet. so i just went to find it on a prayer.

2:55PM me circling around Main St and Center St, 100 W, 100 S, back and forth weaving and weaving...what am i even looking for?
man..my windows are dirty. stupid sprinklers. i can't see a thing.
one more pass on Center street. catch out of corner of eye: "Preferred Information Services" on WEST side of street.
AHA! now where to park.
circle left...then left again...then left again...no place to park on street. pull into a driveway..staring at creepy alleyway...i don't think this is a parking lot.
back out on to street. turn right. turn right. perfect. park.
out of car...ah..i left my ipod in the car. what if someone steals it? already walking away...just let go.
walks up to "Preferred Information Services"...someone standing outside. oh no. they're closed. wait..she's on the phone.
get to the door...open til 4:30. saved.
walk in. sign in. look up. "$12 for fingerprints". sweet that's $3 cheaper than I thought. wait.."$15 for teachers". what the stupid. Cash Only.
looks in wallet. $3 cash. drats.
chime up: you only accept cash?
yes.
is there an ATM nearby?
at Mesa Dr and Main there's a Wells Fargo. (I remember passing it). or there's a US Bank right over there, points.
okay.

sets out on foot. walks to end of block, looks left for US bank. can't see. crosses street. looks back and sees US bank down street to left, but then looks across street ahead for wells fargo, big building...that's probably it. walks across street again. walks up to building. not it. walks down street. crosses back to the first side. keeps walking up street away from US bank. wells fargo has got to be down here. big building: Mesa Bank. oh look...a city bank. okay. walks around city bank. no ATM. looks inside. looks fancy. maybe not that kind of bank.

walks back down street toward US bank. crosses back over where started. strolling along...enjoying little boutiques and fresh 80 degree air. finds US Bank. walks in. no ATM. walks out. ATM on other side. insert card. english. pin number. withdrawal. $20. okay, but there's a $3 fee. THREE DOLLARS?! i remember when it was $1.25. lame. it's been a while since i've withdrawn money at an ATM and even longer since it wasn't a credit union co-op. OKay okay..i'll pay. takes money, receipt, card. turns around. looks across parking lot at...Preferred Information Services. that close. ugh.

goes inside. hands over money. signature. copy of receipt. goes to back. surrenders hand. "don't press". woman handling my fingers. press in ink. press on sheet. press in ink. press on sheet. all 10 fingers. "now forefingers". forefingers???? what the heck??? is that like what a forearm is to an arm...to a finger? the backside of my fingers?? what is this??? grabs my FOUR fingers diagonally pressing on sheet...excluding thumb. OH! gotcha. now wash your hands with that orange stuff. enjoying orange scent...looking at hands...i look like a mechanic.

that's it? that's it. thanks. silently appreciating people who do their jobs and don't complain and make you feel like you're an inconvenience to the world. internally head-bopping to "ain't too proud to beg" playing on their radio.

back in car. heads home. swerves across 3 lanes (phew, no cars!) to gas station forgot i was going to stop at. $10 in tank. all i can afford. it goes over. $10.02. I'll make it $10.05. passes .05 to .07. okay...$.10...passes $.10 okay...$.25. gently coaxing nozzle. $10.23, $10.24, $10.25. perfect. $10.25 for gas.

makes it home in one piece.

maybe i'll go wash the car.

thus concludes "journey through my crazy counter-intuitive brain today"
if you read that...i hope you kept your arms and legs inside at all times. the exit is to the left. hope you enjoyed the ride.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Memories

Memories
10/2/09

I don't know what to tell you
cause I'd made up my mind
but seeing it all together
is like seeing it the first time

In love don't be hasty
In love use your head
In love don't be foolish
Just hold me instead
of calling up all the mysteries
between us now and then
cause I love you for the memories
so I'll come back again

That fleeting scent on my tshirt
has dissipated in time
and when I pick up the receiver
I'm wishing it's you on the line

We were never in it for the long haul
We had our rights audibly read
If growing up means love becomes the teacher
then I learned this lesson instead

In love don't be hasty
In love use your head
In love don't be foolish
Just hold me instead
of harboring all the miseries
between us now and then
cause all that we have are memories
to bring us back again
to bring us back again

cause I love you for the memories
so I'll come back again

(c) Catherine Papworth 2009

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Keep Breathing...

sometimes you hear a song and it moves you and speaks to you in a place that you can't find on your own. you just can't go there. cause it's beyond thoughts or words. it's in a place solely reserved for deep, visceral connection. music can take you there. and this song is speaking to me right now.

Keep Breathing

ingrid michaelson

The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

All that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now


Tis the season...

Fall is here. Anyone getting that itch yet? I know I am....

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Saturday, September 5, 2009

in case you were wondering...

I'm probably missing you.

And I probably want you to call.

or write.

or email.

or show up on my front door.

any of those options would work.

until then i'll just sit here...

missing you.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

thinking...pensively...

read this quote on a friend's page today:

"Wait for the boy who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kinda boy who brings out the best in you and makes you wanna be a better person, wait for the boy who will be your best friend, who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, wait for the boy who makes you smile like no one else and when he smiles you know he needs you, wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and have no make-up on, but appreciates it when you get dolled up for him...and most of all wait for the boy who will put you at the center of his universe because that's where you belong."

so finally ready for this...and yet so dreadfully scared of this. the last time i thought i had this, it didn't go over so well. (but let's face it...it wasn't actually like that). so hopefully the next time will be better.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Wonderful (favorite lyrics right now)

the person that you were has died
you've lost the sparkle in your eyes
you fell for life into its traps
and now you want to bridge the gaps
now you want to bridge the gaps
now you want that person back

and all your ammunition's gone
ran out of fuel to carry on
you don't know what you want to do
you've got no pull to pull you through

say i am
say i am
say i am wonderful
say i am
say i am
say i am wonderful

If what you've lost cannot be found
and the weight of the world weighs you down
no longer with the will to fly
you stop to let it pass you by
don't stop to let it pass you by
you've got to look yourself in the eye

say i am
say i am
say i am wonderful
say i am
say i am
say i am wonderful

cause we are all miracles
wrapped up in chemicals
we are incredible
don't take it for granted, no
we are all miracles
oh we are

say i am
say i am
say i am wonderful.


-gary go "wonderful"

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Imperfect Reflection

slow down
deep breaths
you're moving too fast,
got your foot stuck on the gas
you're trapped in
a stained glass cage
one wrong move,
and you'll be covered in glass

and I'm feeling
you building walls
all around
and you know that
you're bound to fall
if you keep gracing the edge

i know cause i've been to where you are
where you are

you used to care but now you're just worried
so you start living life in a hurry
rushin ahead to pass by the mirror
hopin someday you'll see yourself clearer
why don't you tamper with your perfection
and learn to love your imperfect reflection

what you eat
comes right out your mouth
so tell me
what is that all about
it's saddening to come to this
but you insist
on a quick fix

from softening
to maddening
it's one extreme to the next
and your defense
is that you
ain't hurting no one
but yourself.

but when you're down you're not alone
not alone

you used to care but now you're just worried
so you start living life in a hurry
rushin ahead to pass by the mirror
hopin someday you'll see yourself clearer
why don't you tamper with your perfection
and learn to love your imperfect reflection

let go
let go
let go
let go
you're beautiful
you're beautiful
you're beautiful just the way you are
you are.

(c) 2009

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Claire and Benson

I saw this today and I cried. Someone so young and innocent has to go through this everyday. It makes me realize how blessed I am to be healthy.



You can go to their blog here.
I submit that this is going to be good.

really good.




if you're an engineer/arranger/songwriter/musician/artist/singer/composer/producer/lover of music... this should blow your mind. and if it doesn't...your mind should be blown..into a million pieces. the end.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

i love...

  • buying new music on itunes (recent purchases: shae fiol--catch a falling star, owl city--fuzzy blue lights, Ingrid Michaelson-the chain, Jason Mraz--if it kills me, MSTRKRFT ft. John Legend--heartbreaker...)
  • putting that music into playlists (current playlists: "summer nights", "february")
  • bubble baths with my pecan pie delight bubble soak
  • spending hours working on a recording and enjoying the creative process
  • listening to Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah"---especially while enjoying my soak in pecan pie
  • day-dreaming
  • writing new songs and the catharsis that ensues
  • shopping at the local farmer's market with all of the old people... the place has been open for over 50 years and its customers have been faithful
  • cooking...but not just cooking, creating something original that's nothing short of magical to the senses and all made out of fresh grown ingredients from the local market or my mom's garden (my parent's are A-ok with this passion of mine...and reap its benefits often)
  • the gospel and being reminded of my potential and reinforcement of truth every week
  • one word: dessert
  • really great workouts...running and losing track of time
  • playing the piano and losing track of time
  • being able to drive to San Diego in half a day...which I did twice last week.
  • having finally figured out that life is a process...a journey...it takes the guilt out of things. mistakes don't count as points against you. there is no regrettable past or uneasy future. just always moving forward and learning as you go.
  • learning to respect my body and heal our negative relationship. body...you have a lot to offer me. i'm glad i have you.
  • friends coming home from missions. sisters moving home.
  • my brother, his wife, and my nephew...and the little one coming in April.
  • james mcavoy, john mayer and johnny depp....all of my celebrity loves start with a "j"...i guess.
  • spider solitaire
  • swimming in my pool that is at a constant 80-something degrees day or night..all by myself:)
  • the FOOD network
  • lotion (skin milk, love spell and white tea and ginger)
  • dark chocolate
  • seeing/hearing from old friends
  • finding notes from old friends tucked away in my room
  • love letters
  • erasing my done "to do" items off my white board
  • reading before bedtime
  • going to sleep to the sound of the ocean
  • sunsets over the ocean
  • organizing my room (not done nearly enough)
  • drinking tea in dim light with a good book or a great window view
  • art...that makes me think without words
  • strawberries
  • cellos
  • answered prayers and the revelation that God knows who I am and is listening
  • walks
  • parks
  • city lights over water
  • Alexi Murdoch, "Orange Sky"
  • private dance parties in my room
  • knowing that there is someone out there who will someday love all of these quirky things about me

Friday, August 7, 2009

details in the fabric...



calm down, deep breaths
and get yourself dressed instead
of running around
and pulling on your threads
and breaking yourself up

if it's a broken part replace it
if it's a broken arm then brace it
if it's a broken heart then face it

and

hold your own
know your name
and go your own way
hold your own
know your name
and go your own way
and everything
will be fine

hang on
help is on the way
stay strong
i'm doing everything.

hold your own
know your name
and go your own way
and everything
will be fine.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Twitter-pated.

I have officially succumbed...I've made a twitter account. I have no idea what's going on...but I hope I'll learn. So...go find me: cpapworthy. The end.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

My song featured in a music blog

Check out this article written by my good friend, Nicole Sheahan about my song, "Enough", currently being featured in the Mormon Times Showcase. Also featuring the wonderful Rachel Sonderegger and her song, "Step Outside." After you're finished reading, you should GO VOTE!
Thanks!

Friday, July 24, 2009

good ole times

Found this while going through all my "stuff"--why do we hang onto piles and piles of things like this? Why? Because this one is a gem. My 2nd grade teacher wrote this and I've never noticed it until now.
"Catherine,
You are a super studert. Glad you are in our room."
Thanks Ms. Fisher...and I'm glad you taught me how to spell:).

Thursday, July 23, 2009

the stars lean down to kiss you
and
i lie awake and miss you
pour me a heavy dose of
atmosphere

cause i'll dose off safe and
soundly
but i'll miss your arms around me
i'd send a postcard to you dear

cause i wish you were here.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

BIG NEWS and I NEED YOUR HELP!

I entered this Mormon Times showcase--it's a music/video competition and I only have 9 days to make up a month's worth of votes. I just finished recording a new song called, "Enough". The song is a message of hope for anyone out there who is struggling with life's crushing issues. After almost losing my sister in a car accident this Christmas, I had to face a harsh reality. But, I know that it's in those times that we find ourselves carried through. Enjoy the song and vote as many times as you can (once a day per email per computer). Since you can only vote once a day, EVERYONE needs to vote. So vote and get the word out!!! I would appreciate it sooo much!

Love,

Catherine

Go HERE TO VOTE!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

like rain


like rain

you renew me
and see through me
as you wash away the day

like rain

i adore you
and wait for you
to erase it all away

like the stormy sea
on a helpless shore
you leave less than there was
before

like rain

you surround me
quiet all around me
everytime i call your name

some day
when my skies are gray
i'll remember you
and say

like rain

simple showers
desert flowers
remind me you're here
to stay

-lyrics & music by e. neuffer

Sunday, May 17, 2009

my city

I was reading my friend Dale's blog and his entry about his favorite city skylines.  It made me want to look up pictures of Portland...probably my favorite city in the world.  I came across this website.  I would post all of the pictures, but it'd be easier just to click on the link.  There are so many different parts of the city that are so gorgeous...parks, waterfalls, mountains, rivers, bridges, city buildings.  I love the city and miss being there so much.  Part of it is how much more I enjoyed my life at that time.  Being at the Living Traditions festival last night reminded me of being in Portland...partly because I used to go to a lot of things like that in Oregon and also because a good friend of mine from Portland was there performing.  Sometimes you just have a moment of nostalgia.  Thanks for sharing in that moment.

In other news, I'm moving to Arizona on Tuesday.  So, I have a lot to do tomorrow.  And then I'm going to go face the excruciating heat.  I only hope and pray that this change is a catalyst for more change.  I need some change right now.  And I'm hoping that "change is gonna come".  

Friday, May 1, 2009

the land of Green

last weekend we went to Oregon.  we had a free day on Thurs and decided to go to the Columbia River Gorge...get a look at the scenery..go hiking...
here is the view from Crown Point...one side is Oregon, the other: Washington.

Courtney the creeper and Cool girl. 
a typical attempt at a group shot...
Courtney showing off her hot legs and 20 yr old bermuda shorts.
hello, that is my leg.
shmile.
then we headed up to Multnomah Falls and hiked to the top of this...

pit stop...
so much love.
we made it!

could nature be more beautiful?
singing "Step Outside" at the Vista House


Easter egg hunt

we had some easter festivities at the house..including an easter egg hunt. 
any attempt to relive childhood through holiday festivities is fine by me.
kevin eagerly searching...
alan...where oh where is the chocolate..
we were real classy and used old grocery bags...reduce, RE-USE and recycle..right? something like that.
deanna beaming with joy...and the sun.


'stretch armstrong' at work.
Dale found my secretly hidden egg behind the door! notice my sign for the realtors to stop walking in through my room!
conquered.

elation.
not all could be pleased...eh?
but most were satisfied:).

Adventures of late

deanna and dale took my camera and headed off to...
this...
they met some llamas...
snapped a shot of this guy...
all for a few crazy minutes...
and ended up looking like this...
rock on, studly ones...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Help my friends go to college

My friends Burgess and Amy are entered in a video contest to see if they can get enough votes to win some money to pay for college. All you have to do is click on the link, then click on "vote" for their video, put in your email address and the "secret" code and you're done. Just un-click the box saying you want email updates sent to you and this is a pretty un-invasive process. You can use as many addresses as you have and you can vote once every 24 hours. Count it as a random act of kindness for the day.  Also, you'll be doing me a favor...cause I'm pretty much counting on this kid being the next Steven Spielberg...and me his John Williams.  The end:).

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Star Wars according to a 3 year old

too much good stuff on youtube.




but don't talk back to Darth Vader, he'll getchya!

Lucky's Funeral

this girl is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. Ashkan...if you're out there--this is your future child:) haha.

Monday, April 6, 2009

my thoughts on conference:

I probably didn't get as much out of conference as I should have.  I will for sure be reading the Ensign and watching and re-watching some of the talks online.  I missed a good portion of Saturday due to conflicts and only fell asleep at the end of the first session on Sunday during Pres Monson--oops.  I snored so loud I woke myself up...and made everything laugh.  but anyway...

I really liked Pres Uchtdorf's talk Sun morning and the one a couple after that about change.  President Uchtdorf tends to be my favorite...he just always says what I need to hear...I also love Elder Holland.  Uchtdorf's talk about the atonement and the plan of happiness--that the world tries to find solutions and offer theories to help us solve our problems, but the fullness of the truth about how to obtain happiness is in the gospel of Jesus Christ and through the atonement of Jesus Christ.  We need to fill our hearts and minds with the light of Christ and it will "illuminate our hearts" and help us find immeasurable joy.  He said that anyone can come to Christ and all we need to do is start where we are.  It is never too late.  We all come short because all have sinned, but atonement has the power to make us whole.  We need to be active participants in the gospel and willing to follow the Lord in His will by applying and re-applying ourselves to the gospel principles.  The more we're filled with the Spirit of God the more we reach out to others.  
and that's what it's about, right?

I am sure that I've heard this talk or kind of talk over 100 times.  So much of it was what I already know.   But, something really clicked this time.  There are so many people around my age, at BYU, at home, in the church, out of the church, around the world--it doesn't matter--who are unhappy, depressed, lost, unmotivated, and are searching for solutions in so many different venues: diet books, workout plans, therapy, antidepressants, magazines, cleanses...you name it.  all of these things have truth to them and work...but only for a time...and never fully.  I have failed to recognize along with many others, that the true source of light is in Jesus Christ.  I want so badly for my heart to be illuminated and my capacity for good to be expanded.  I want to find purpose and motivation and be working towards being whole myself and helping others.  The true "solution" or "answer" is in being a true follower of Jesus Christ and a faithful member in his kingdom.  

This is what I gained from Conference today and I can't wait for the talks to be printed so I can continue to re-read this message and remind myself how to find true happiness.

curly hair

I got pampered today...cause I insisted, but still.  I asked Kik today to curl my hair.  The best time to do this was during conference, however,  she refused cause she wanted to write notes.  But, halfway through she decided she would straighten it instead.  This was good news to me since I was starting to fall asleep and this would allow me to sit up and stay awake.  She straightened my hair and then did my makeup.  I have decided...and for a long time...that if there was one thing I would pay someone to do for me everyday it would be my hair and makeup...if I really had the money I would also have a stylist to pick out my outfits.  This is partly because I'm lazy...but mostly because I don't think I have a knack for this myself..I know what looks good, but I don't feel inspired to do it. I am much too low maintenance and also REALLY slow...so I don't have the patience to spend that much time making myself look cute.  After she made me up she said, "Go look in the mirror.  You need to get yourself ready everyday."  why..whatever could she mean...it's true...I don't have a "job" right now per say so the concept of actually getting ready for the day doesn't really cross me until about 5pm or so but then what's the point.  It would probably help my self-esteem and possibly my love life a bit if I took the care to make myself look nice instead of throwing my hair in to a greasy ponytail and throwing on some sweats---go figure.  I then went to Amy's where she curled my hair wither her "volumizer" straightener--I don't really know.   It was slightly painful and probably would have been impossible to do myself, at least in the back.  So one day when I'm rich and famous, I will have someone to do my hair and makeup and make me look pretty.  

Here are my photobooth glamour shots.  The serious face is kind of funny to me...I don't take myself that seriously.  





                                             
       now with straight hair. I did my hair myself this day. *patting myself on the back*


Monday, March 30, 2009

guess this movie quote...

Okay I'm not sure that anyone actually reads my blog (well maybe 1 or 2), but here is quote number 2.  Guess what movie this is from and you win 10 points of coolness.

Quote #2:  "In the Alamo.  In the basement."


and I got the first quote wrong:

Quote #1: "You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me.  I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

new song

it's way too late to be posting on blogger right now, but oh well.  for anyone who cares and doesn't know already, I put the Noteworthy CD in the mail yesterday.  In other words, I sent all the materials required to be duplicated to Pennsauken, NJ or some weird place like that and  in about 1.5-2 weeks I will be sent 1,000 copies of an album that I spent almost a year working on...and that's it...weird.  
the only thing is, I am now swamped with recording for the next one--preparations, rehearsal polishing & booking studio time...as well as engineering & producing the whole thing. And on top of that planning a trip to Oregon in 3 weeks and arranging a joint song for Noteworthy and Divisi...  YIKES!  everything has just snuck up on me.  So, I will probably be staying in Utah for a week or two after my contract runs out to finish recording.  I squatted at this place for the whole month of September--ssshhh don't tell management---so I figure I can do it again.

ANYWAY...the other part of this post was that I wrote a "new song" over Christmas break.  I was inspired by certain events occurring in my life and others' lives and it was specifically dedicated to a friend of mine...you know who you are... she wanted me to put the lyrics up, so here they are.  The song is called ENOUGH.

Is it enough,
just to love and be loved by someone
Is it enough,
to not give up, if giving up is something
when what you give
is what you got
but what you got is nothing
more to give.
Is it enough?

And in your life
you need a break,
but what you want is broken.
You carry on,
your mind's awake
but now your body's frozen.
just showing up could be that tough
just being there with someone,
is it enough
is it enough

the light is dim and shadows show up on your face
your hope is gone you're waiting for that saving grace
but all that I can give to you is just to say

When hope is gone,
you'll carry on til tomorrow.
You need a friend,
you've reached the end,
but find your heart keeps going.
You do your best, 
with all the rest,
and though you can't tell now,
it'll be enough
it'll be enough

Is it enough,
to face the truth
when tragedy has fallen
and even worse the truth hurts
those were your last words spoken
What would you say,
if everyday,
you had the chance but now,
you're not there to say it
what would you say?

the years have gone and lines now show up on your face
your hope is gone you're waiting for that saving grace
but all that I can give to you is just to say

When hope is gone,
you'll carry on til tomorrow.
you need a friend,
you've reached the end,
but find your heart keeps going.
you do your best,
with all the rest,
and though you can't tell now,
it'll be enough.
it'll be enough.

(outro)


the end...until next time...

p.s. this was brought up in conversation tonight...if anyone can guess what movie this is from...without having talked to me already...you win 10 extra cool bonus points. (Jackie I'm counting on you:)

"I'm a rebel, Dottie. An animal.  You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me."


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Fix You

This song was so profound to me when it first came out and I'm not gonna lie...when they played this, I might've shed a tear.



I'm a little angry with Utah right now because it started to warm up and I was so ready to embrace the weather change...I felt like I emotionally committed to spring weather...and then it snowed tonight. blasted Utah.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Reminiscing...

My friend Amy had a baby today.  I can't believe it's been 12 years since I moved to Oregon and we became friends.  Shout out to her and her beautiful boy.  This is a picture of us shortly before she left for her mission and when I was tan...those days have long gone:).

My brother is weird...I don't need any evidence, but we love him, and here is why:

Driving up to Humphrey's Peak..this is the exact moment he came up with "excitahrrea"...the elevation kind of got to all of us...as seen in the next video--just listen to my mom..she can't even talk.


Driving in Seattle summer 05...good times. // And this is just another illustration of why we love him.