I was reading a friend's post today...Tara...you can find her on my 'fellow bloggers' list....and, I just felt like I could really really relate...like really. So...I am going to copy her post...and fill it with the things I have been thinking about...hope you don't mind.
I have... too many things on my mind all the time, and not enough things in my hands. (i.e. I'm not doing practically any of them).
I fear... always being like this also..good one Tara.
I always... tell myself I'm going to do something and then let myself down...I am such a flake to myself sometimes...sorry self.
I feel... like I should be doing more with my life...
I hear... the fan blowing in Michelle's room...and the plastic bag that is caught in its path...no really...I hear... too many thoughts in my head...
I smell... the Fall. and I love it. and also what Tara said..."change in the air". We can do it.
I wish... I hadn't taken so long to get here. I wish I could have some of those days back.
I hate... when people hate each other. I hate when people hate each other and accuse each other in the name of tolerance. It's just so wrong.
I wonder... how long I have to wait to find you...
I regret... not going to all my classes and getting the most out of college.
I love... being around people I love.
I am... committing myself to look forward to the future with more hope and invigoration.
I think... I need to stop thinking... and start doing.
I know... God loves us.
I want... to spend time with my family.
I always... procastinate....and stay up too late.
I am not... a judgmental person.
I am like... sweet honey melting in a cup of warm tea.
I believe... we can change the world for the better...yes, even you...even me.
I don't always... tell myself the truth.
I am happy that... I have parents that are there for me and help and support me even when I feel like the biggest loser.
I win... the coolest catherine you've ever known award. and also kickball, when shane and katie are on my team...we rock.
I lose... everything. especially my keys right when I have to go somewhere immediately.
I never... cry in front of people...it's an unusual occurrence.
I need... to get back in shape...and get my life organized.
I listen... to soul music when I am alone in my kitchen cooking and cleaning. Al Green hits the spot every time.
I am scared of... the future...and being alone forever. but I'm working on that.
I read... every night before I go to bed. "Following Christ" by Stephen Robinson is the book I'm reading right now...amazing.
umm...right so....that's it. I started feeling really motivated right around conference weekend, and then I lost it for a couple weeks, but I'm starting to feel re-inspired. I'm not really too keen on the idea of this being the "decade of decisions". In some ways I don't feel a day over 18, but in others I feel like I'm 40....or 80...or something like that...not young and energized, but not old and experienced and satisfied with my life either. I am grateful though, that the gospel teaches us to put our faith in the One who has promised us everything. I am finding a lot more hope in Him these days. Not because He is just now revealing it, but because I'm trying to open my darkened eyes and see what I have been too stubborn to see before. And I think all of us twentysomethings have a lot more to look forward to than we think. We are only as good to ourselves and to society as we imagine ourselves to be...and I think God can help us see that a little more clearly.
I really hope my sheets are dry.