My Music


Tuesday, October 28, 2008


So...I put my sheets and blanket in the wash today and then forgot about it's now 1:40 am and I would like to go to bed, but have to wait for the dryer to sound that they are ready. these days.

I was reading a friend's post can find her on my 'fellow bloggers' list....and, I just felt like I could really really really.  So...I am going to copy her post...and fill it with the things I have been thinking about...hope you don't mind.

I have... too many things on my mind all the time, and not enough things in my hands. (i.e. I'm not doing practically any of them).
I fear... always being like this also..good one Tara.
I always... tell myself I'm going to do something and then let myself down...I am such a flake to myself sometimes...sorry self.
I feel... like I should be doing more with my life...
I hear... the fan blowing in Michelle's room...and the plastic bag that is caught in its really...I hear... too many thoughts in my head...
I smell... the Fall. and I love it. and also what Tara said..."change in the air".  We can do it.
I wish... I hadn't taken so long to get here. I wish I could have some of those days back.
I hate... when people hate each other.  I hate when people hate each other and accuse each other in the name of tolerance.  It's just so wrong.
I wonder... how long I have to wait to find you...
I regret... not going to all my classes and getting the most out of college.  
I love... being around people I love.  
I am... committing myself to look forward to the future with more hope and invigoration.
I think... I need to stop thinking... and start doing.
I know... God loves us.
I want... to spend time with my family.
I always... procastinate....and stay up too late.
I am not... a judgmental person.
I am like... sweet honey melting in a cup of warm tea.
I believe... we can change the world for the better...yes, even you...even me.
I don't always... tell myself the truth.
I am happy that... I have parents that are there for me and help and support me even when I feel like the biggest loser.
I win... the coolest catherine you've ever known award. and also kickball, when shane and katie are on my team...we rock.
I lose... everything. especially my keys right when I have to go somewhere immediately.  
I never... cry in front of's an unusual occurrence.
I need... to get back in shape...and get my life organized.
I listen... to soul music when I am alone in my kitchen cooking and cleaning.  Al Green hits the spot every time.
I am scared of... the future...and being alone forever.  but I'm working on that.
I read... every night before I go to bed.  "Following Christ" by Stephen Robinson is the book I'm reading right now...amazing.

umm...right so....that's it.  I started feeling really motivated right around conference weekend, and then I lost it for a couple weeks, but I'm starting to feel re-inspired.  I'm not really too keen on the idea of this being the "decade of decisions".  In some ways I don't feel a day over 18, but in others I feel like I'm 40....or 80...or something like that...not young and energized, but not old and experienced and satisfied with my life either.  I am grateful though, that the gospel teaches us to put our faith in the One who has promised us everything.  I am finding a lot more hope in Him these days.  Not because He is just now revealing it, but because I'm trying to open my darkened eyes and see what I have been too stubborn to see before.  And I think all of us twentysomethings have a lot more to look forward to than we think.  We are only as good to ourselves and to society as we imagine ourselves to be...and I think God can help us see that a little more clearly.  

that's all.

I really hope my sheets are dry.

ta ta,


Monday, October 20, 2008

Jacob Luttrell

This is my mentor/friend/producer/collaborator/all of the above Jacob Luttrell.  He's touring with Nikka Costa right now and I would just like to share the "sickness" of which he is....he's sick...not with cancer or the bird flu...but with amazingness.  I have come accustomed to seeing him whip out something disgusting like this on multiple occasions.  And by disgusting I mean ridiculous.  Just go here and here to see what I mean...


Friday, October 17, 2008

Hotel Cafe-Winter Songs

I've an idealist....I am a firm believer of making the most of everyday and finding purpose in the journey, not just looking to the destination.  I personally think we mostly get to the "destination"...or that the "destination" finding our way there and growing and learning on the journey.  So....I've come to the realization that I have been really poor at adhering to my own ideals.  And I'm really trying to change that.  So...even though I hate the idea of heading back into winter...and long months of dreadful cold and snowy roads and hiding beneath my winter coat for months upon months....there actually is a lot to look forward to in winter.  And I'm going to go out there and carve my pumpkin, drink my apple cider, spend time with friends and loved ones, frolic in the fallen leaves, wear a warm scarf as much as possible, go caroling, decorate the tree and enjoy it!!!  

Along with that...I've been getting in the spirit with a little music...and I stumbled upon quite a gem in my email inbox today....

So apparently The Hotel Cafe has released this special Christmas/Winter album and part of the proceeds are going Susan G. Komen for the Cure.  I am broke right now...yes, that broke that I didn't want to spend $9.99 on the whole album.  But, I sampled all the tracks and they sound as soon as I can, I'm going to buy the whole thing.  BUT, "Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson is definitely speaking to my soul right now and fitting exactly in with my pledge to enjoy this season and make it full of meaning.  You really should check it out...and support breast cancer research...double bonus.

I think this is a time for family and if I haven't seen you for a while...drop a line.  I've probably been missing you.

I recorded some songs for Christmas last year and I'm going to try to put some of that music on facebook.  So, you can go there to get in the spirit, too. yay.

Much love,


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Idealist...

So I took this personality test---72 yes or no questions.  And suddenly my entire identity is laid out before me under the title, "The Idealist".  To be honest though, it is frighteningly accurate.  This is what it says about me:

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.  Your secondary mode is external, where you take things primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people.  Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life.  What is their purpose?  How can they best serve humanity in their lives?  They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.

INFPs are highly intuitive about people.  They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life.  They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things.  Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same--the INFP is drive to help people and make the world a better plae.

Generally thoughtful and consider, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease.  Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people.  This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFp a valued friend and confidante.  An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPS do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it.  If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings.  In conflict situations, INFps place little importance on who is right and who is wrong.  They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right.  They don't want to feel badly.  This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations.  On the other hand, INFPs are very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated.  In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause.  When an INFP has adopted a project of job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them.  Although they're not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".  

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPS are typically completely unaware of such things.  They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic.  Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgement.  They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgement, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it.  Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical.  Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out the fact (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists.  Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit.  INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standads are likely to be higher than the other members' of the group.  In group situations, they may have a "control" problem.  The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living.  Without resolving conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers.  They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper.  INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counseling or teaching.  They are at their best in situation where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for.  Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

So there you have it...Apparently I am in a class with Shakespeare and Beethoven.

We discovered that I am most highly compatible with ENFJs....and it turns out my roommate Michelle is an was meant to be.

Peace in the middle, but seriously--


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Smelly Engineer...

I haven't showered in two days, 8 want to know why???.....

I've been mixing....straight.  And all I'm gonna say is that "Apologize" is sounding like the bomb-dizzle and you all best be excited for Noteworthy's next album....Peace.