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Friday, September 10, 2010

A few thoughts...

A) I'm in love with this window. I want to live in the building that it is in, despite the fact that it's in Provo. It's a historical building that used to be a mansion and is now split up into several apartments. It's a gem. We used one of the apartments for our shoot on the first day and then went exploring the second day. It was amazing...like 4 or 5 floors and lots of nooks and crannies...I'm pretty sure it's haunted but who cares. And look at that banister! Also why do I miss radiators? Weird. Okay...I'm in love with it. I'm pretty sure I would actually sit there and write all the time. Though it was a little precarious and high up.



2) I've mentioned before that this process of doing my EP has been really lonely. Unless you have been through something like this I'm not sure I can really describe it to you and have you understand. (I'm not throwing a pity party...AT ALL! just so that's clear.) But if I've ever said it before, there is no time I mean it more than right now. I feel like I've been on the struggle bus for the last few days....like I'm on my last few "emotional" reps (have I been spending too much time at the gym?) I'm not sure if it's the weight of my life backpack right now or the fact that it seems that the people closest to me that usually seem to be readily available are well...not readily available....it's just been a hard week. But, and though I hate to use this cliche, I have had a few moments (tender mercies, if you will) that have carried me through. Each Noteworthy mix that I get back from Bill speaks to my heart and reminds me that all of this work is going somewhere and it's going to be great! And then Jillene came over this morning and recorded the violin parts I arranged for "The Truth." Hearing it all come together for the first time, the fruition of thoughts and feelings and ideas I've had inside for so long was just unreal. Thank you Jillene and Rachel for making my dreams come true on this one!

I've been going on a run every night (probably way too late, don't hate me and tell me I'm endangering myself...it's keeping me sane!) to de-stress and listen to Sara Bareilles' new album, but last night I received the mix back for "Come, Come Ye Saints" and I played it at least 4 times at the beginning of my run. Noteworthy...you were like little angels showering me with peace through my ipod earbuds. I know I arranged this piece...but you make it what it is. I love you all and miss you. Thank you.

I hope I make it through the next week...specifically the next few days. I can do it! I can do it! I can do it! I can do it! I can do it! ---I am repeating this to myself...repeatedly...:)

And that goes for you....you can do it.

Thirdly) I think I need to find a less sweaty stress reliever....maybe I'll take up painting.

Last item) I think when this is all over I want to take a vacation to a remote spot like a cabin on a hill somewhere and just sit on the porch and watch the sunset and sip tea and listen to Billie Holiday. This is my wish. Who's with me?


Catherine

8 comments:

Dale said...

I hear Jackson Hole is nice! :)

Catherine said...

Dale...you suck. I don't mean that. But I don't want to go within 200 miles of Jackson Hole for...until I get over myself. I was thinking like any other state besides Idaho, Wyoming, or Utah. Maybe Colorado? or how about New Hampshire?

Dale said...

Hahaha. How about Wisconsin? I'll show you some beautiful hills. Gotta go in the Fall, though. Ah! I'm getting homesick.

Mego said...

How bout a cabin on a beautiful private lake in Wisconsin, or Minnesota....with a wood fireplace. I'm sooooo there!

Catherine said...

yes...let's go!

Dale said...

Hey! I offered first. I got dibbs!

Catherine said...

why can't we be friends? why can't we be friends?

-now you have that song in your head, don't you!?!

Dale said...

Haha. You suck! Jokes! It was in my head for about a half hour while I got ready for stake conference, then I forgot about it. Boo ya!