I sometimes forget how funny my brother is. He will be offended when he hears me say that...but only because he is fully aware of how funny he is :)!!! jokes.
I started to share this on facebook today but apparently you can only have 420 character status updates. So here was the full list of quotes, though there were probably more.
"I hate when people say that...she looks like Gwyneth Paltrow...and then I see her and she looks like Fat Albert...She looks nothing like Gwyneth Paltrow."
"You wrote a lot of good songs, but you're going to hell."
"Kristin, kristi, kristin, kristi, kristin, kristi, kriiiiiistiiiiii said..."
"The light just turned red and this bus thought the porsche was going to go through but it didn't. That bus driver was just like, 'AHHHH!' (**screaming out loud--he was walking in downtown Denver with I'm sure lots of people around**) That bus almost just swallowed that porsche whole and farted it out the tail pipe."
Michael: "We gotten started..." Me: "just...we started.." Michael: "yeah, we started..gotten..."
Michael: "I saw myself getting married to her many times." Me: "For a second I thought you said, 'I found myself getting married to her many times.' Michael: "yeah, I just kept marrying her over and over and over and over."
"I don't think God blesses all marriages/unions/etc. If some people were like, 'hey, do you approve of this marriage?' he'd be like, 'no dude, I don't."
Michael's wise words:
"It bugs me in the culture of the church we think of things in 'if we're righteous, we're blessed, if things don't work out it's cause we did something wrong.' We automatically make everything competitive. If something works out for someone else it's like, 'well, they must be more righteous than me. I must not be righteous. I must be doing something wrong.' But you don't necessarily know that that person's "fortune" e.g. marriage, job, family, etc etc. are even a good thing or even the best thing. You have to realize that there is a best thing for you and it doesn't have to do with things working out for anyone else. You don't deserve to be happy before someone else or vice versa, your timing is all your own. Don't automatically compare yourself to other people. Just keep being righteous and doing your thing, it's between you and the Lord."
I've already shared these videos, but in case you missed them.