I'm learning to be grateful for EVERY experience. When my summer started I had a big list of plans. I was going to make life HAPPEN. Somehow, by no fault of my own, my plans started slipping through my fingers. I started to allow myself to believe that negative voice in my head that says, "You'll never be able to do things how you want. Good things don't come to you." Whenever I'd pick up and try to start again it'd say, "Well, go ahead and try...but you won't succeed. You'll just have to do it again. You'll just have to start over. You'll never get it right."
*SQUASHasd;lkfjsa;lkjd!!!!!!!!!* <---That is me squashing that little voice.
I believe there's a reason things work out the way they do. I believe that in any situation there is always something to learn. Sometimes our walls are torn down because God has some remodeling to do. In time we will be stronger and better than ever. It takes a lot of work to turn a shack into a beautiful mansion...right?
Despite some initial discouragement, I'm deciding to focus on the good and be grateful for the twists and turns along the way. I'll get to where I'm going. Maybe not in the way I thought I would...but I'll get there, and I'll understand this road and God's road map someday when I look back from my destination point. For now I am choosing to enjoy the scenic byways, rugged terrain, detours & uphill climbs.
In other, somewhat related, news:
--One of my favorite artists, Matt Morris, is now following me on twitter. nbd. but...bfd. (Erin, you can translate for everyone.)
--I've lost 5 more pounds! (that's 20lbs peeps....20 more to go!)
--That last 5 pounds was a mental barrier....so I'm pretty sure the rest will be easy....feeling more like myself every day.
--I'm running an EASY 6.0 pace on the treadmill....ending my runs at a 7.5-8.0 (I always enjoy a nice sprint at the end.) I just love running. And I love when my body loves it too.
--Apparently my personality type makes up 1% of the population...apparently I am a swan among ugly ducks...apparently I share this attribute with Shakespeare, Julia Roberts, Beethoven, and Oprah. What makes you special?
--The EP has been really slow moving and at times, discouraging. I'm trying really hard to work on it, but I've hit a lot of road blocks. I am certain this is one of God's detours. I feel like I'm slowly coming around the bend, though. I can't wait for things to start rolling. Recorded "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" tonight on my Fazioli with my mics and a TLM 103 on vox through a Digi 002 that my good friend Jason Barney lent to me. So lucky to have good friends.
--Wrote a new song for the EP, entitled "Tug of War"....it's cute...I like it.
--I watched masterpiece theatre's Jane Eyre last night...and it was amazing. I love that my friends and I watch old movies ALL the time and we don't care that we probably only share this fetish with 75 year old women.
--I get to spend the rest of the week at the beach. I'm going to enjoy every minute of that fresh sea air. I'm heading exactly to the place I was imagining when I wrote the lyrics to this song:
I wanna be heading for the sea
I wanna stand with my love in my hand
and my feet planted in the sand
Feel my fingers in the air
Love my life and lose all care
On a mission to repair, to find a space in my own sphere
So that is where I will be...Hope you are well wherever you....be....
What is fabulous in your life????
My Music
5 comments:
My two crazy boys and not so crazy, hopefully stays that way, incredibly sweet baby girl. Also, the 6 loafs of grandma sycamore bread in my freezer! Health insurance, and cheese will be fabulous when I eat it again.
I feel that you need one of my favorite quotes in the world:
"...Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers..."
Rainer Marie Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet, Letter 4)
I have been and love learning how to love the questions in my life!
Kristi--If I can stay sweet & sane--loosely:)--with an older brother like Michael, I'm sure Ella (who really is the sweetest thing on the planet) is safe from danger. I love them, too! And I can't wait for you to have cheese!!!
Kylee--I love that! It is so true. Sometimes uncomfortable, but definitely worth it in the end! Is this a good book? Thanks for sharing!
My personality type makes up 1% of the population too! INFJ, right? Glad to know there is someone out there like me haha
Close...INFP :).
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