Wednesday, August 24, 2011
When I got to him tears were streaming and he seemed to be in despair. I checked his knees for scrapes but he was fine. His tears seemed to be more out of emotional pain than anything physical. Through sobs he said, "But I really wanted to drink that!" I picked up his milk carton and found that it was still relatively full. I said, "I'm sorry, but there is still some left. Okay?" He knodded, calming down a little. His sobs slowed and as I picked up what was salvageable, he gathered the courage to stand back up.
"Did your shoe come untied?"
"Hm, you should probably tie it before you walk back to class, huh?"
Breaking into full out sobs again, "I don't know HOW to tie my shoes!!!"
Part of me wanted to laugh, but then I felt for the little guy. I knew that this wasn't the end of the world and not all was lost. Even if he did lose out on getting to drink his milk that day, the day would still go on and by the next morning he may have forgotten about the whole thing. But, even knowing that, my heart felt for his tears and the sadness that overwhelmed him over something so small yet important to him. Someday he would learn to tie his own shoe, learn to pick up his own spilled milk, and get up after being knocked down. But, today he needed a little assistance. I tied his shoe, put his tray back in his hands, wiped a tear from his cheek and said, "it's gonna be okay. Okay?" He knodded, took a deep breath to gather himself and walked back to class, a little more discheveled and behind the rest of the group, but still intact.
As I walked back to my classroom I thought, 'I wonder if this is how God reacts when my car breaks down on the freeway and I cry the whole way home or the boy I really wanted it to work out with doesn't choose me and I feel like wallowing?' He knows it's gonna be okay. But I'm sure He still feels for the way it hurts inside. Sometimes He ties our "spiritual shoes" and wipes away our tears and picks us up off the ground and tells us directly "it's gonna be okay." Other times He might be there cheering us on, but it might be our turn to prove to ourselves we can stand up on our own and learn how to tie our own shoes.
Just a thought. The next time I want to cry over spilled milk I'm going to remember the chubby little red-headed boy. It's gonna be okay.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Another "angel" dropped by today in the form of a phone call from a very gifted person in the art of healing. I didn't even hear the phone ring but just looked over as the call was coming in. This visit resulted in a tutorial on the subject of spiritual resistance training. When we want to build muscle and "get buff", we put our body through necessary pain to strengthen it. We create tears in our muscles...we RIP up our muscles!!! and force them to repair themselves with more tissue so that the next time we use them they are ready for the weight we want them to carry. We get stronger. Our body/mind knows this will happen, but our muscles certainly don't like it. As I'm currently in week 3 of P90x I am reminded of this on a regular basis--Yoga Belly 7 has left my stomach muscles with acute pain from the stress put on them yesterday. But, as I know too well and am reminded by my fav trainers to love/hate Jillian Michaels and Tony Horton--when you're shaking, when you're on those last few reps, when you're fighting just to get through, THAT's when change happens. Good change (I hope.) The kind of change you look forward to, like flabby mid-section turning to 6-pack abs change. Yeah, my stomach muscles hurt today as I moved around at both of my jobs, but I know it'll be worth it. In a similar way, God sometimes forces us into a spiritual workout routine that leaves us tired and ripped up. He pushes us beyond the capacity of what we think we can do into the realm of magnificent change. But in the interim, our spiritual muscles are tearing and it HURTS! It hurts and we want it to stop and we don't see how it's helping and if we're not careful we may not see that He is still standing there beside us ready to spot us if the weight gets too heavy or if we feel like giving up.
Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid; I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow; For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply; The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
Even down to old age all My people shall prove My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love; And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn, Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.
The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to its foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.