What is better?

What is better??? (or which is better if you want to get all grammatically correct on me)

A) When you're completely on top of life, happy, smooth-sailing with all the stars aligned?

OR

2) When things don't go your way, you're in the middle of adversity, life is down on you, but you pick up and you are walking, you're not on top of the world but you're pretty close. When you're happy despite your non-happy circumstances (not unhappy) and you look forward to the great things that you have and the even greater things you're working towards.

Just thinking about this. It's like the 10 mile run I went on today. If I didn't go running today my body would feel relatively no pain. Instead, I did go running and I'm in a little bit of pain....that pain is uncomfortable (and gave me a really good excuse to spend my holiday afternoon in the hot tub), but I ran 10 miles. It hurts, but I'm 3 miles away from my 1/2 marathon and 15ish lbs (I've lost 40ish so far) away from my goal weight.

Life is great when it goes your way. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome. And then sometimes life is an everyday battle or an uphill climb for 8 miles in the sun (no pain, no gain!!!) You barely make it through, but every challenge makes you stronger. And then sometimes you're running along and you hit a hill and you gather up some courage, take it by storm and sprint up the damn thing. (Ask my roommate in college, it's one of my favorite pastimes....especially at the end of a run, can't help myself.)

I think it's better...to be dead tired and sprint up that hill than to be running easy on a slight downhill slope. We all enjoy our moments of bliss. But, as for me, I'm gonna allow myself to feel great even when life could dictate otherwise. In some sort of mathematical equation of joy-pain*(mental attitude/life circumstance)=happiness, I think you're somehow happier in the latter, though it may not feel that way. Pat yourself on the back or have a private dance party in your room in celebration of your hard-earned, seemingly mediocre life. You deserve it...more than the smooth-sailers. And next time we hit a hill, try not to cough in my dust.

This is the starting of my greatest fear...

Dear Andrew,

How did you know?

This is the starting of my greatest fear

I'm all packed up, getting out of here

but then you call and tell me not to go

that I'm the one who put the rock 'n roll

in your life

This is the starting of a brand new day

I never liked this town much anyway

I need this city like I need the rain

I know that somewhere there's a north bound train

Oh I'll make it without you

make it without you

and though my body's laying here

it's my mouth that must be lying now

This is the starting of my fall from grace

My self esteem oh it's seen better days

No I'll never let this go to waste

I'll keep this memory on the map I trace

back to home

My friends go out, but I've been staying in

I know I should but that's the way it's been

I never cared much for the taste of gin

I still don't now, oh, but it's been helpin

Oh I'll make it without you

in my life

Oh I'll make it without you

and though my body's laying here

It's my mouth that must be lying now.

Weird when someone (an artist) you've never met knows the story of your life. I don't know how that works. But it does. I write songs about what's in my deepest heart and then you tell me I said exactly what you were feeling. There is no way I could have known what you were feeling, except that we all hurt, we all find joy in life and love, we all struggle in between trying to get through and all we really want is to be happy. That's a nice thought. We're all connected by these songs, these .wav, .mp3, 44.1 khz 16 bit sound waves that permeate the space between and enter into your heart and mine. There's someone out there feeling the same way I do, listening to this song, making tough decisions, looking up at the stars with tears in their eyes. Thank you Andrew for reaching in and turning your story into beautiful art and in the process, telling mine. What you have done for me I hope to do for others with my music.

On the R-A-D-I-O!

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the lovely Cherie Call and featured on yldsr.com (your lds radio) this week!

Check it out HERE!!!!