Validation

definitely worth 16 minutes.

my thoughts on conference:

I probably didn't get as much out of conference as I should have.  I will for sure be reading the Ensign and watching and re-watching some of the talks online.  I missed a good portion of Saturday due to conflicts and only fell asleep at the end of the first session on Sunday during Pres Monson--oops.  I snored so loud I woke myself up...and made everything laugh.  but anyway...

I really liked Pres Uchtdorf's talk Sun morning and the one a couple after that about change.  President Uchtdorf tends to be my favorite...he just always says what I need to hear...I also love Elder Holland.  Uchtdorf's talk about the atonement and the plan of happiness--that the world tries to find solutions and offer theories to help us solve our problems, but the fullness of the truth about how to obtain happiness is in the gospel of Jesus Christ and through the atonement of Jesus Christ.  We need to fill our hearts and minds with the light of Christ and it will "illuminate our hearts" and help us find immeasurable joy.  He said that anyone can come to Christ and all we need to do is start where we are.  It is never too late.  We all come short because all have sinned, but atonement has the power to make us whole.  We need to be active participants in the gospel and willing to follow the Lord in His will by applying and re-applying ourselves to the gospel principles.  The more we're filled with the Spirit of God the more we reach out to others.  

and that's what it's about, right?

I am sure that I've heard this talk or kind of talk over 100 times.  So much of it was what I already know.   But, something really clicked this time.  There are so many people around my age, at BYU, at home, in the church, out of the church, around the world--it doesn't matter--who are unhappy, depressed, lost, unmotivated, and are searching for solutions in so many different venues: diet books, workout plans, therapy, antidepressants, magazines, cleanses...you name it.  all of these things have truth to them and work...but only for a time...and never fully.  I have failed to recognize along with many others, that the true source of light is in Jesus Christ.  I want so badly for my heart to be illuminated and my capacity for good to be expanded.  I want to find purpose and motivation and be working towards being whole myself and helping others.  The true "solution" or "answer" is in being a true follower of Jesus Christ and a faithful member in his kingdom.  

This is what I gained from Conference today and I can't wait for the talks to be printed so I can continue to re-read this message and remind myself how to find true happiness.

curly hair

I got pampered today...cause I insisted, but still.  I asked Kik today to curl my hair.  The best time to do this was during conference, however,  she refused cause she wanted to write notes.  But, halfway through she decided she would straighten it instead.  This was good news to me since I was starting to fall asleep and this would allow me to sit up and stay awake.  She straightened my hair and then did my makeup.  I have decided...and for a long time...that if there was one thing I would pay someone to do for me everyday it would be my hair and makeup...if I really had the money I would also have a stylist to pick out my outfits.  This is partly because I'm lazy...but mostly because I don't think I have a knack for this myself..I know what looks good, but I don't feel inspired to do it. I am much too low maintenance and also REALLY slow...so I don't have the patience to spend that much time making myself look cute.  After she made me up she said, "Go look in the mirror.  You need to get yourself ready everyday."  why..whatever could she mean...it's true...I don't have a "job" right now per say so the concept of actually getting ready for the day doesn't really cross me until about 5pm or so but then what's the point.  It would probably help my self-esteem and possibly my love life a bit if I took the care to make myself look nice instead of throwing my hair in to a greasy ponytail and throwing on some sweats---go figure.  I then went to Amy's where she curled my hair wither her "volumizer" straightener--I don't really know.   It was slightly painful and probably would have been impossible to do myself, at least in the back.  So one day when I'm rich and famous, I will have someone to do my hair and makeup and make me look pretty.  

Here are my photobooth glamour shots.  The serious face is kind of funny to me...I don't take myself that seriously.  

                                             

       now with straight hair. I did my hair myself this day. *patting myself on the back*

3rd quote--JACKIE WHERE ARE YOU??!?!

"tell 'em large Marge sent ya"

seriously, guys.

guess this movie quote...

Okay I'm not sure that anyone actually reads my blog (well maybe 1 or 2), but here is quote number 2.  Guess what movie this is from and you win 10 points of coolness.

Quote #2:  "In the Alamo.  In the basement."

and I got the first quote wrong:

Quote #1: "You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me.  I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel."

new song

it's way too late to be posting on blogger right now, but oh well.  for anyone who cares and doesn't know already, I put the Noteworthy CD in the mail yesterday.  In other words, I sent all the materials required to be duplicated to Pennsauken, NJ or some weird place like that and  in about 1.5-2 weeks I will be sent 1,000 copies of an album that I spent almost a year working on...and that's it...weird.  

the only thing is, I am now swamped with recording for the next one--preparations, rehearsal polishing & booking studio time...as well as engineering & producing the whole thing. And on top of that planning a trip to Oregon in 3 weeks and arranging a joint song for Noteworthy and Divisi...  YIKES!  everything has just snuck up on me.  So, I will probably be staying in Utah for a week or two after my contract runs out to finish recording.  I squatted at this place for the whole month of September--ssshhh don't tell management---so I figure I can do it again.

ANYWAY...the other part of this post was that I wrote a "new song" over Christmas break.  I was inspired by certain events occurring in my life and others' lives and it was specifically dedicated to a friend of mine...you know who you are... she wanted me to put the lyrics up, so here they are.  The song is called ENOUGH.

Is it enough,

just to love and be loved by someone

Is it enough,

to not give up, if giving up is something

when what you give

is what you got

but what you got is nothing

more to give.

Is it enough?

And in your life

you need a break,

but what you want is broken.

You carry on,

your mind's awake

but now your body's frozen.

just showing up could be that tough

just being there with someone,

is it enough

is it enough

the light is dim and shadows show up on your face

your hope is gone you're waiting for that saving grace

but all that I can give to you is just to say

When hope is gone,

you'll carry on til tomorrow.

You need a friend,

you've reached the end,

but find your heart keeps going.

You do your best, 

with all the rest,

and though you can't tell now,

it'll be enough

it'll be enough

Is it enough,

to face the truth

when tragedy has fallen

and even worse the truth hurts

those were your last words spoken

What would you say,

if everyday,

you had the chance but now,

you're not there to say it

what would you say?

the years have gone and lines now show up on your face

your hope is gone you're waiting for that saving grace

but all that I can give to you is just to say

When hope is gone,

you'll carry on til tomorrow.

you need a friend,

you've reached the end,

but find your heart keeps going.

you do your best,

with all the rest,

and though you can't tell now,

it'll be enough.

it'll be enough.

(outro)

the end...until next time...

p.s. this was brought up in conversation tonight...if anyone can guess what movie this is from...without having talked to me already...you win 10 extra cool bonus points. (Jackie I'm counting on you:)

"I'm a rebel, Dottie. An animal.  You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me."

Fix You

This song was so profound to me when it first came out and I'm not gonna lie...when they played this, I might've shed a tear.

I'm a little angry with Utah right now because it started to warm up and I was so ready to embrace the weather change...I felt like I emotionally committed to spring weather...and then it snowed tonight. blasted Utah.